10/23/2012 I Married Who?

After watching a scary movie, it’s nice to wash it down with a wonderful made-for-tv movie from Hallmark. Thank you, DVR for allowing me to watch this Hallmark Channel goodness. Confession: I know these are super cheesy movies but I usually love them.

Tweet review:
Bachelorette party gone wrong. Marry hunky movie star. Try to hide it from fiancé, end up in tabloids. Not Hallmark classic, Hallmark decent

Lengthier review:
I Married Who? is about two very uptight, type-A people who have been together for eight years and are now planning their wedding. Jordan and her two best friends are heading to Las Vegas for her bachelorette party. Peter makes Jordan leave her engagement ring behind because a. it’s his grandmother’s ring and b. he doesn’t trust the gamblers and ruffians (my own word) in Vegas. Jordan does not plan on drinking any alcohol because it  made her do some interesting things in the past. She orders a non-alcoholic drink but the waitress mixes up the drinks. While this is going down, Matt Swift walks into the club/bar/wherever they are. Jordan’s friends freak out. Of course, Jordan doesn’t like the guy’s movies so she’s like ‘whatevs.’ All this time, she’s drinking her drank and getting drunk and making eyes at Mr. Swift. The next morning, Jordan finds herself in Matt’s hotel room, married. Matt assures her that they can get an annulment in like two days because he has great lawyers. Jordan makes her friends promise to not tell anyone about her Vegas wedding. Matt’s agent has other ideas. Rookie Cop, Matt’s movie that’s about to be released, doesn’t have much popularity so Eric leaks it out that Matt married someone in Vegas. When Peter finds out, HE FLIPS. Jordan tells him to calm down, that Matt’s lawyers have it under control. Matt’s agent convinces him to keep up the married charade until the premiere of the movie. Matt agrees with him.

Jordan, in a desperate attempt to talk to Matt, sneaks into the movie premiere. They talk and Matt reassures her that the annulment will come soon. The tabloid the next day questions if she’s pregnant or not. In another attempt to hurry the annulment, Jordan meets Matt on the set of his current movie. Peter sees Jordan there, hanging out with him and goes super jealous boyfriend and punches Matt in the face. Peter can’t forgive Jordan for her “what happened in Vegas” and he takes back the ring.

I liked this movie. Although I don’t know how someone as uptight as Jordan turns into a more free-spirited person in two hours … or a few weeks. That’s my only major complaint though. Peter was a super annoying character but you’re supposed to be cheering for Matt so he had to be a tool. My favorite line is when Jordan’s mom is kind of reprimanding her for her mistake, and Jordan was like, “stop being passive-aggressive, I like it when you’re aggressive-aggressive.” Such witty banter in this Hallmark movie. It didn’t make me cry so it’s not the best Hallmark movie out there. I’m pretty sure this movie is PG but I don’t want my children to know that Las Vegas exists until they’re 21. Just kidding. Can you imagine a childhood without Sister Act? One or Two? 12, B-.

What are some other Vegas movies to hide from children until they can legally gamble?

I found this article on Hallmark movies fascinating.


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